Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
