so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Found the puke drawer
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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