There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
