The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
