Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
