my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
