Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
