If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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