Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
