Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
