Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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