Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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