Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
