Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
