member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
