i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Found your dick twin last night
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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