I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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