there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
