How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
