Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
