yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
