i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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