its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
