my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
