so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
