420 ftw
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
