I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
