We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
