Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
