a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
