i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
