i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I am naked and annoyed.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
