We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
