Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The feeling are messing with the penis
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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