Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
