my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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