a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
