yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My dick has a subreddit
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
