Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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