Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
