I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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