I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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