what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
