I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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