To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
