come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
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