Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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