I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I'm really busy with my period
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