HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
