you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
